FlyFishingSucks.com

Not sure if “weekend fishermen” is the right term.  More like…people who never fish then show up, hire a guide, then get in a drift boat loaded with expensive gear that makes them FEEL like they are fishermen, then float down a river tossing some ridiculously tiny piece of fur on a hook at the bank and thinking that is fishin. 

Helpful hint …..if you want to fish..get out of the damned boat and FISH.  Get an appreciation for the river by getting your feet wet.  Get your heart racing when you almost step on a rattlesnake or trip on the rocks.  Its all good. 

Funniest thing I ever saw was two wannabe fishermen (re: flyfishermen) on a three man pontoon boat with a guide.  My friend Brandon and I were portaging our small one man pontoon boats around a particularly nasty set of rapids.  The guide, probably wanting to show the “fishermen” how good he was…went ahead and entered the rapids.  We lost sight of them as we went behind some trees on our trek.  As we came around we saw them…boat upside down, all of them in the water.  Funny as hell.  And they lost all that expensive gear.  Cry me a river…hahahhahah

Kills me…they float RIGHT THROUGH the hole where you are already fishing, casting over YOUR lines, and dont think a thing of it.  Bastards.  They all deserve to get dumped.

What is up with “waders” anyway?  Are they supposed to keep you dry?  I wore waders once and not only got soaked from sweat but damn near expired from dehydration.

Here is a good example of what fly fishermen consider “essential”:

Here is all that is really needed to get to the fish:

kind of like those tv commercials:

FANCYPANTS WADERS:    $500

SNEAKERS TO FISH IN:  $15

THE LOOK ON GQ FLY FISHERMAN’S FACE AS YOU STROLL BY WITH A FULL STRINGER OF HUGE TROUT:  PRICELESS

Man I hate fly fishermen. I have to admit,though,a curious satisfaction in knowing they exist.

Satisfaction in knowing that that poor bastard won’t catch a damned thing while I will nab anything living.  These bozos show up on the river, geared to the teeth – designer hat with flies stuck all over the damned thing (looks like a streetlight with bugs on it), $500 waders, incredible (empty) creel made from the finest Florida wicker, vest complete with clamps, hooks, leader and MORE flies, designer sunglasses with the oh-so-important neck strap, and those lovely 50 lb felt soled wading boots.

Good lord.

Satisfaction is what comes to mind every time I run across one of these morons. Satisfaction as I stroll by them in all of their prima donna glory in my army surplus $5 pants, old basketball shoes, RISING CONVICTION t-shirt, Seahawks ballcap, $25 pole/reel combo, and 3”X5” plastic tackle box with half dozen Blue Fox lures.  Satisfaction as I reel in fish after fish as they struggle with trying to figure out  what the fish are eating. Helpful hint … they are eating BLUE FOX LURES. Dumbasses.

And as I pass them by again a short while later, large brown trout in hand, satisfaction knowing that more trout will be there next time because these idiots are more concerned about looking good than actually catching fish.

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